Hi everyone. My name is Meghann Caldwell and I wrote a 9 page, color coded, single-spaced, day-of timeline for my wedding.
My wedding party can attest, I had a google doc specifically for them with all the pertinent details to make sure they arrived on time with the appropriate items. Their document was only 5 pages.
Around this time last year I was abuzz with wedding details. Making sure everything we wanted was meticulously taken care of and double checked. I sent out various emails and text reminders to make sure everyone was on the same page and really understood what the day was going to look like.
Our outdoor ceremony would start at 4:15, it would roll into a lovely outdoor cocktail hour followed by dinner and hours of, you guessed it, outdoor dancing.
I had it all planned out.
Like all big events in life, you hope to God (or whatever you believe in) that nothing goes wrong and your plan can go off without a hitch. But there are always factors that are outside of your control, like the weather.
The weather had other ideas on October 5th, 2019.
As I was putting on my lashes and getting my hair curled, the clouds started gathering. We were constantly checking the radar, hoping for the best. Unfortunately, the moment of truth came and my photographer laid it out for me. The rain would hit right at 4 pm, and if we wanted to get married at 4 we would either be doing it in the rain or inside.
Those moments were so fraught. I had this perfect plan in place and the plan had to change. I was adamantly against seeing Henry before the ceremony. I had always dreamed of walking towards my husband and seeing his face for the first time, happy and full of tears. I had dreamed of a beautiful golden hour photo session with my friends and family with the warm sun setting in the background. All of those visions were slowly going dark and I didn’t have anything to replace it — I couldn’t imagine any other wedding day than that.
Worse yet, no one but me could make the change. It was literally the perfect storm for someone with anxiety; last minute decisions coupled with a high intensity situation. There were definitely a few tears shed (and carefully dabbed away by my mother).
But, with the help of my loving friends and family, I made the call. I knew what my priorities were: I wanted to get married, I wanted outdoor photos, and I wanted to have fun. The rest was gravy. Once I made the call, Lisa sprung into action. We ripped up the old timeline and reorganized everything to fit the timing and the weather.
Looking back on that day, I can’t help but chuckle. My worst fear — rain — is nothing compared to what 2020 brides are going through. They have to handle a dang global pandemic. They have to face cancelling, postponement, money lost, disappointment. I’m not trying to compare because there is no comparison — 2020 brides have it rough.
But one thing is the same, we all had a plan that didn’t go according to plan. We all have an “x factor” that’s totally out of our control. It’s something you have to deal with, even when you really really REALLY wish you didn’t have to. It’s the thing that is ruining your shared dream, and it sucks. It really sucks. And I am completely sitting with you in this moment of suck.
I am grateful I had the opportunity to completely alter my plan on our wedding day. It allowed me to go with the flow instead of counting down the minutes until the next phase or activity. It allowed me to be in the moment and be led by the experience. It allowed me to focus on my true priority that day: getting married to the person I love the most in this world.
If I can give 2020 brides anything, it’s the knowledge that even when something doesn’t go as planned — it can still be beautiful. In fact, it can be more beautiful than you ever imagined because the most amazing things never go to plan.
I’m not saying ignore the logistics, it’s a major event with moving parts, but I am saying screw your fixed mindset. Open yourself up to the possibilities the world is presenting to you, even in this dark time. Like me, let yourself be led by the experience. Take each day, and each hour as it comes.
So please take my advice and let go of your wedding expectations. Let go of your wedding timeline. Let go of the wedding, and focus on the marriage.
I truly believe that nothing can stop love. If you hold fast to your priorities you will start your married life out in the way you are meant to, and I think that’s perfect wedding day for anyone.
I’m just like you. My life can be hectic and cooking, cleaning and getting that workout in are sometimes the last thing on my mind. But, I’m here to share my tips and tricks on how to make adulting a little more enjoyable.