It was a Tuesday. I opened up my battered gray HP work laptop and I keyed in the same username and password I’ve had since I started in 2017.
It bounced back as an error. I typed it in again. I knew it was right. Error again!
It took me a minute to realize my username was wrong. I waited for a few minutes and then quickly keyed in “mcaldwell” remembering, I’ve changed my name. I chuckled at my muscle memory and moved on with my day. But as I thought back on that moment I realized that I’ve been saying these small goodbyes to my “old name” for awhile.
Goodbye to Meghann Workman on my bank account. Goodbye to Meghann Workman on my social media. Goodbye to Meghann Workman on my Amazon account. Goodbye to mail for Meghann Workman. Goodbye to customer emails for Meghann Workman.
I’ve always known I wanted to take my husband’s last name. It was something I looked forward to, a sign that we really are one family. We’re tied together by love and history. Plus, I can’t lie about how excited I was to jump to the beginning of the alphabet. But the reality of actually processing the documents, legally changing my name, and then calling myself Meghann Caldwell felt different than I imagined.
Of course I was excited, especially since I was choosing to change my name (it was never expected or asked of me). But as with any major change you can’t know 100% how you will feel until the change happens. Especially with a slow change that takes months to process.
What was tough for me is that I knew who I was as Meghann Workman. I grew up being Meghann Workman and it took me all that time to get comfortable and own my power as that woman. Also, my entire adult life was set up around who I was as Meghann Workman. Going through and changing my banks, my health insurance, my government ID felt like breaking down the adult I have become.
These feelings are totally okay, and absolutely valid. I own these feelings, and recognize that I can be disappointed to see one part of me go while celebrating the future and my new name.
I’m excited to see how my future will look as Meghann Caldwell. So far, as the new Mrs. Caldwell, I’ve started writing a blog, I’ve bought a house, I’m living through a pandemic — I’ve done so much in a short amount of time! I know there will be so many more celebrations and challenges that I will face as Mrs. Caldwell, and I’m ready for them.
It’s not that I’m a new person — I’ll always be the intelligent, hard working, loving woman I was brought up to be. It’s that I know I am passing into a new phase of my life, and I’m excited at the possibility this new name holds for me.
I’m just like you. My life can be hectic and cooking, cleaning and getting that workout in are sometimes the last thing on my mind. But, I’m here to share my tips and tricks on how to make adulting a little more enjoyable.